Four Children: Busy, Busy, Busy

One of my first responses about having four children was something like, "It is no different than having two." Four months after Abrielle's birth, I have thought a lot about this and I think it is very much true...and very much not true. ;-) Let's see if I can explain this.

The biggest distinction in my mind between "having four is just like having two" and "having four is more than having two" is the difference between stress and busy-ness. Having four children seems no more stressful to me than having two. When I had only two children, if one thing went wrong then everything seemed to go wrong. That hasn't really changed now that I have four. Everything seems to come crashing down at once (I'm sure it doesn't really, but it does seem that way). I do not feel I am going from crisis to crisis day in and day out, just that the crises seem to pile up in a moment's time. However, having four is definitely more work and makes my life much busier. I have a lot to do. I have more clothes to wash, more food to make, more times in a week to clean the bathroom, etc. But more work is not a bad thing. More work may take more time, it may mean you never get to the end of your to-do list, it may mean that you need to be more creative about housework, it may mean you get less time to hang out with friends, but it is not the end of the world. It is not necessarily more stressful.

All of this brings to mind some important principles. First, we must remember that we are not adequate to do anything of import apart from Christ. I often think of the verse 2 Corinthinas 3:5 in my parenting. It says that we are not adequate or sufficient, but God is. I know the context of this verse is not parenthood, but I think it applies to us in the state of parenthood just as well.

Second, I think we need to embrace the fourth commandment which says to remember the Sabbath day. It is strange to me that we want so much to do away with this commandment when it is such a blessing. I do not think remembering the Sabbath means that we have to put dour looks on our faces and only think of serious things while we sit quietly. Actually, I think it is quite the opposite. I think we get to celebrate it by feasting, worshiping corporately, fellowshipping with other saints, and by resting, which for me means no to-do list and also often translates into a good, old-fashioned Sunday afternoon nap. As my husband puts it, we get a vacation one day a week. This does not mean I have NO work to do on Sundays, but I do not view it as "just another day" to get things done. And since I have been implementing this in my life, I have experienced much refreshment and it seems that I have actually been able to accomplish more. Our ways are definitely not God's ways.

Third, it means not burning the candle at both ends. I recognize that there are seasons in life when our busy-ness is above and beyond anything approaching normal. But I do not think it is a coincidence that the same Psalm that tells us that children are a reward says that it is "vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep." God not only gives His children weekly rest; He gives daily rest, as well.

Finally, we have to remember that we should not grow weary in doing good and that we are reaping a harvest (Galatians 6:9). Raising children in the training and admonition of the Lord is a good thing. It is not always easy, but it is rewarding.